


Misinformed

by rougeandtonic



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, First Time, M/M, Pon Farr, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 14:36:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2391941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rougeandtonic/pseuds/rougeandtonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Turns out Kirk was misinformed about a few things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Misinformed

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 6/15/2009

Day 327 into the their first five-year mission and the Enterprise was coming upon the outer reaches of the Andromeda galaxy en route to investigate a weak radio distress call that had originated fifty light years ago. It was a sparsely populated region of space and they hadn’t left the ship in thirty-seven days, so when Spock came onto the bridge and made his way urgently towards him, Kirk couldn't help but hope for some excitement.

"Captain, if you could spare a moment, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything you wish, Mr. Spock."

Spock just arched an eyebrow at him; Kirk fought back a sigh and amended:

"As long as it doesn't endanger the ship or the crew, of course, though I doubt you would ask for something that did."

"Indeed I would not." Spock turned to look out the bridge window. It was almost all darkness out here. Only a few scattered stars were in view. "The Starfleet ship Horizon is in the NK2-47 system; onboard is a Vulcan crew member who has contacted me and indicated she is in need of my assistance. I would like to request a transport pod and four days leave in order to assist her."

"What does she need help with?"

"A private Vulcan matter I would prefer not to discuss."

Somehow, Kirk wasn’t surprised. He turned to Chekhov: "NK2-47. Is that nearby?"

"Very close, sir. At current speed, it is a day's journey."

"Who's the captain?"

Chekhov punched some buttons on the computer. "Admiral John Allfort."

Of course, when Chekhov said it, it sounded like 'Aw-for', but Kirk had been working with him long enough now to fill in the sounds. He turned back to his first officer: "We’ll do you one better than a transport pod, Spock. Sulu, set course for NK2-47. If the Horizon’s been out there any length of time they’re sure to be in need of company, and maybe we’ll be able to trade them for some of the parts Scotty’s been bugging me for."

 

***

 

That would have been that except Kirk happened to stop by the medical bay later that day and walked in on a teleconference between McCoy and a woman in medic’s uniform. The other doctor was describing a Vulcan in her care who was, over the past few days, growing increasingly agitated, aggressive and--the medic seemed hesitant to divulge this--sexually inclined.

The conversation immediately raised Kirk’s hackles. After he’d inadvertently learned in his mind-meld with the other Spock that he and Spock were to become lovers, he’d thought it best to be prepared. His personal knowledge of alien sexual practices was quite broad, but unfortunately didn’t extend to Vulcans. There hadn't been many of them at the Academy anyways, and they mostly kept to themselves. Subtly questioning McCoy hadn’t yielded any information, so in the hours before the Enterprise was set to depart for its first five-year mission, Kirk had found himself in the dusty reaches of the Academy library researching Vulcan biology.

Blood: green. Ears: pointy. Heart: on the right. Agitated, aggressive and horny? He’d read references to that, too, and had indeed been looking forward to the time when he encountered that with a different Vulcan.

When McCoy finally flipped off the com, Kirk said tightly, "Let me guess. A transmission from the Horizon?"

 

***

 

So Spock was planning to cheat on Kirk, right under his nose. Kirk could feel his anger rising as he made his way to Spock’s chambers. That Spock didn't yet know they were in a relationship was a minor detail.

Sure, the idea of him and Spock together had been hard to swallow at first. Spock had certainly seemed the least likely person on the ship to choose him as a lover, and, given his cold responses to Uhura’s public advances and their subsequent breakup, Kirk wouldn’t have even thought him a sexual creature if he hadn’t learned otherwise from the other Spock’s mindmeld.

But the thought of them together wasn’t something he could easily get out of his mind and as he had gotten to know his first officer over the course of the last year, over dinners in the mess hall, weekly chess games in his quarters, and watching each other's back in conflict after conflict off-world, he'd grown increasingly impatient for something to happen. He hadn’t had sex in over three months now. Granted, part of that was this mission had taken them to the ass-end of space, but part of it was waiting for Spock to get a clue so that he could just go ahead and jump his well-formed ass already.

And now this.

Kirk knocked loudly on his first officer's door.

"Captain. What can I do for you?" The door had slid open almost immediately, revealing Spock still dressed impeccably in his uniform. Despite Kirk’s attempts over the last year to get him to relax, the Vulcan didn’t appear to know the meaning of being off-duty.

"I've changed my mind. Permission to go aborad the Horizon is rescinded."

"May I ask what prompted this, Captain?" There was no hint of emotion in Spock’s tone.

"You may," Kirk said. "I just happened by the medical bay and saw Dr. McCoy. He was discussing your Vulcan friend’s condition with the their doctor."

"I fail to see how this has changed your opinion."

"Do you think me an idiot, Spock? You think I can't recognize the signs of Pon Farr when I see it?"

That got a reaction out of him. Spock stepped backward, and Kirk followed him into the room. The door slid shut behind him.

"How have you heard of Pon Farr? It is taboo for Vulcans to speak of it."

"Obviously it’s not as much of a secret as you guys would like to believe."

"I still fail to see how your knowledge of it relates to my quest for leave." It was interesting watching Spock try to maintain his composure.

"Are you bonded to her? Why would you lie to about it?" Kirk demanded.

"I did not lie. I merely did not voluntarily divulge details that did not concern you." Spock held his head proudly. "I am not bonded to her, though I do not see how this concerns you."

"How could it not!" Kirk felt his anger rising up again. Spock could be infuriating sometimes.

"I am no longer bonded to anyone, and I have no intention of entering into a bond with T'Pranna."

"Pon Farr is a bonding ritual!"

"Captain, I don't know who taught you about Pon Farr but you know less than you think you know."

"Then explain it to me," Kirk challenged, crossing his arms.

"A bond is only obligatory when the partner is Vulcan. I am half-human."

"How do you know? What if something goes wrong and you're stuck in a bond you can’t break out of?"

"I know."

"You’ve done this before, then!" Kirk could hardly believe he was having this conversation. "Are you even interested in this T'Prong?"

"T'Pranna. And I would not know. We have not met before."

"So you're just going to--"

"I will do what I have to do to save her life," Spock said firmly, his lips set in a firm line. "I am curious why you think it your business to stop me."

Kirk opened his mouth to make another argument and then closed it. This was it.

"Spock." Spock must have sensed the change in tone because he arched a curious eyebrow. "You can't do this because--I believe there is another you are meant to be with."

"Who?"

"Me." Kirk said quickly, before he could take it back. "Me. Spock." He grabbed for Spock's hand but Spock yanked it away before he could make contact. Confused, Kirk looked up. "Spock, do you understand what I'm saying?"

Spock looked stunned.

"This is not possible, Captain," he finally said.

"Not possible?" Kirk demanded, his heart pounding. "There is something between us. Don’t tell me you don’t feel it!"

"I am sorry, but I do not." Spock gave him a wide berth as he walked past to open the door. "Is this all?"

Kirk couldn't believe he was being asked to leave. How had this gone so wrong? "May I ask why you don't feel the same way?"

"You are male."

"Yes. And?"

"As am I."

"I’m not really seeing the problem there," Kirk said.

"Vulcans do not have the fluid sexuality of humans; it is not logical to mate with someone one cannot procreate with. Captain, I apologize if I have done anything to mislead you, but I do not believe I have. What you claim to feel between us is simply not possible."

Kirk stared at the door as it slid shut in front of him.

 

***

 

When Kirk got back to the bridge, he ordered Chekhov to alert Spock to be ready for transport to the Horizon when they arrived the next morning.

 

***

 

The three days after Spock left passed more slowly than the entirety of Kirk's time in the Lacunian prison earlier that year. In the meantime there was small talk and stories to exchange with the other crew and captain, and goods to trade. Scotty was happy that they had a spare of one of the parts he needed, and it turned out that a childhood friend of Uhura's was on the other ship.

Kirk spent his nights working on the bottle of scotch he’d been saving for--fuck he couldn’t remember what now. The descriptions he'd read about the violence and passion of Pon Farr and the thought of what Spock was doing right then haunted him. He'd known things would be different in this reality, that one small change could provoke a million others. But he couldn’t understand why the Spock of his timeline had to turn out to be straight.

 

***

 

"I trust you were able to help your friend," Kirk said as blandly as he could when Spock finally made it back to the control room.

"Yes, Captain. I thank you for the leave."

Kirk examined him closely for any limps, bruises, scratches or any other evidence of how he had spent the last three days, but found none. It didn’t mean they weren’t there.

 

***

When Spock came upon him in the mess some weeks later and asked to join, the hesitation in his cadence, as if he was unsure of his reception, caught Kirk’s attention.

"No, Spock, it's not taken, please sit down." He tried to sound welcoming; it wasn’t fair, after all, to take his disappointment out on Spock. It wasn’t his fault he didn't want Kirk the way Kirk wanted him.

"I have not had the pleasure of your company in some time, Captain. Are you still upset with me over my request for leave?"

Way to go straight to the point, Kirk thought. "Of course not," he said. "I've simply been busy. I apologize if it seemed as if I was avoiding your company. I would never wish to convey that to you."

His voice sounded oddly formal to his own ears, but Spock seemed satisfied and turned back to his salad.

"Perhaps we could resume our regular chess games, then?" Spock suggested after a couple minutes passed. "I noticed that we are both off schedule during gamma shift tonight."

"A brilliant idea, Spock."

"Then I look forward to seeing you then, Captain," Spock said and he picked up his empty tray.

"On one condition, though," Kirk stopped him.

"And what is that?"

"That you call me Jim."

This seemed to please him, as he gave a short nod and said, "Jim. That will be acceptable."

 

***

 

After that, things were mostly back to normal. Spock never brought up Kirk's declaration of feelings, and the disappointment of not having those feelings returned dulled with time. They still seemed destined to be good friends, and that was really all Kirk needed, after all. He could always find bed-mates elsewhere, and when their missions took them back to more populated planets, he had no problem doing so.

 

There were, of course, a couple rough spots.

The first came the night after the Enterprise departed from a refueling visit to Alkandra, a planet in the Agaian Cluster. Spock had joined Kirk in his quarters for their regular chess game, and, out of the blue, said, "You left the bar last night with an Agaiian gentleman."

Kirk moved his pawn forward and thought how to respond. This was the last conversation he wanted to be having with Spock, and he was surprised he brought it up. Just went to show how little he understood Vulcans.

"What of it?"

"I was merely trying to make conversation. I believe the humans call this 'small talk'?"

Kirk gave Spock a long look as he moved a pawn forward, but couldn't discern anything from his expression.

"Vulcans aren't attracted to members of their same sex," Kirk stated, letting some lingering resentment over that fact leak into his voice. He moved his rook to E-6.

"Indeed, it is not logical." Spock moved his queen to E-4, top level.

"You know, humans used to think the same way, but it didn't stop them from feeling it. For thousands of years, having sex with a man was a crime. Men who did it were persecuted like criminals."

"I am aware of that." Spock's pawn to C-3.

"You know what some of the humans did? They suppressed their feelings and pretended to be straight." King to B-4.

"A logical decision, given the circumstances." Spock moved his rook to E-8 and Kirk countered with a Queen to H-4. He realized the mistake as soon as he made it.

"Is it?" Kirk asked.

Spock didn't answer, just moved his bishop into place and gently tapped Kirk's king over. "I believe this is check-mate."

 

***

One other rough spot came when the Enterprise picked up a diplomatic delegation with a female Vulcan interpretor. She took to Spock immediately. Kirk—and Uhura, from the looks she’d been giving her—could see they connected on an intellectual, logical level on which no human could hope to connect with Spock. Kirk told himself that Spock was, of course, free to be with anyone he wished and he himself didn't have a chance with him with him either way. But that didn’t stop him from digging out his old bottle of scotch the nights the delegation was onboard, and wondering how things could have gone differently.

After she left, Kirk and Spock were once again sharing a meal in the mess when Kirk asked him offhand, with more vitriol than he intended, whether she had been one of the ones he’d ‘helped out’ through Pon Farr.

Spock had flatly informed him it was none of his concern, picked up his tray and left.

Three days later, Kirk finally made it to Spock's chambers to apologize.

"What I asked was inappropriate, Spock. I apologize." He'd always been awkward with apologies. "It won't happen again."

"Apology accepted." They stared at each other for a moment, and then Spock added, "And the answer is no, T’Leandi and I have never known each other in that way."

To Kirk's surprise, Spock kept talking: "The first time of Pon Farr comes without warning, and when it comes to Vulcans at the Academy, the journey back to their bond-mates on Vulcan is too long. Without a resolution, the Pon Farr is fatal; so the Vulcan cadets find other partners, usually humans. But since I was half-Vulcan, they avoided the shame of divulging the secrets of Pon Farr to an outsider. And since I was half-human, I could participate without forming a permanent bond. I was the logical choice."

"But it wasn't your choice," Kirk said, reading between the lines.

"It was never what I would have chosen, had the circumstances been different." Spock’s face was impassive.

 

***

 

Day 473 of the Enterprise's five-year mission found Kirk, Spock and Uhura as visiting delegation to the Hammurians, trying to broke a peace agreement to end their seventy seven years-long civil war. Uhura was leading the negotiations and, as Kirk didn't speak the language, he occupied himself with arranging the olive-like fruits on his plate into various shapes. At least until Spock gave him a disapproving look.

After lunch, Uhura, looking troubled, took them both aside into the courtyard.

"It is logical for us to comply," Spock spoke first, of course having understood Hammurian.

"What they are asking is not okay!" Uhura exclaimed, her dark eyes wide. "The Captain will never agree to it. We'll find an alternative."

Spock's eyes shifted over to Kirk. "I must disagree. At times even the Captain can see logic."

"What will or won't I agree to?" Kirk demanded.

"The Hammurians share our desire to end their war. It has cost them greatly. However, they believe in order to do so a sacrifice must be given to the gods."

"What kind of sacrifice?"

Uhura looked between the two of them. "They say two warriors must go to the High Temple, lay down their arms, and perform a joining ceremony."

"A joining ceremony?"

"Sexual intercourse," Uhura said in a clipped voice. "They have decided our arrival is a sign from the gods, and that you two are the warriors."

"You thought I would agree to this?" Kirk asked Spock in disbelief. "You must be out of your mind. I’m with Uhura. We’ll find another way."

"The only complication is this." Uhura gestured to the circle of armed men who had formed around them, holding spears pointing inwards.

"We gave them our communicators," Spock reminded them. They’d given them up when they entered the Hall. Kirk had been told it was a sign of respect. "We have no way of signaling the Enterprise that we are in danger and they have no way of knowing anything is amiss until we miss our scheduled check-in at 03h00."

"You told us they wouldn't do anything to hurt us!" Kirk turned accusingly to Uhura.

"That was before they decided you two were the warriors they’d been waited for," she said, but did look suitably abashed.

Kirk shot Spock a helpless look.

"It is logical for us to comply with their wishes," Spock repeated. "It may be a small sacrifice for us, but in doing so we will save many lives on both sides of this war. Perhaps even our own."

 

***

 

And so that was how Kirk ended up, after a steep trek up a mountain accompanied by a retinue of armed guards, locked alone with Spock, a bed and a bowl of grapes—and what the fuck were the grapes for?--in the ceremony room of the High Temple.

Spock took a step towards him but Kirk held out a hand to stop him. "Look, I've thought this through. They have no way of knowing whether we’ve gone through with this or not. When they let us out in the morning, we'll just say we completed the ceremony and it will all be taken care of."

"Think about it logically, Captain," Spock said. "Would they have left us alone if they had no way of verifying that we completed the ceremony?"

"Are you saying we're being observed?" Kirk demanded. He looked around the walls for chinks or spy-holes or cameras.

"Jim. Once you said you might want me in this way." Spock took another step forward, his dark eyes boring into Kirk's.

"It doesn't matter!" Kirk exclaimed. "This isn't what you want, so we're not doing this. That's final!"

"It is the logical--"

"Fuck logical. Have you ever been intimate with someone because you wanted to, out of your own free will?"

"I have not, but that is beside the point."

"That is exactly the point! I will not do this to you," he said firmly.

"I believe you are misunderstanding the situation," Spock said, and reached out to take Kirk's hand.

Kirk was too surprised to react, and just watched as Spock lifted up his hand by the wrist. Spock took two fingers of his opposite hand and slowly stroked up Kirk's index finger.

"What—" Kirk cut himself off at the rush of feeling that suddenly overwhelmed him: desire and fear, devotion and... lust? Lust. Oh, God. He could feel his cock respond immediately.

Spock released his hand and Kirk staggered back, fighting to get his body back under control.

"When you asked me those questions before, I was not forthright with you," Spock said.

"What are you saying?" Kirk asked, feeling pained.

"I have tried to be Vulcan. I have done my best to honor the Vulcan culture, but I have failed."

"Failed?"

"I cannot help but want you, Jim."

Kirk’s breath caught.

"And I fear it will destroy me."

Kirk couldn't even begin to process what was happening. It was too much. But he was sure about one thing. He'd felt it clearly through the mind meld.

"It won't destroy you, Spock. You’re not going to regret this. I promise." He lifted his hand to Spock's face, tracing down the side of his forehead and cheek. It was the first time he’d given into the impulse to touch. Through his skin he could feel faint traces of the same emotions he'd felt when Spock had stroked his fingers: desire, fear, lust. He felt his erection stirring to full attention now.

Spock's eyes grew wide and dark as Kirk touched him, and Kirk took that as encouragement to press his lips to Spock's. For a moment the touch was so light he could feel the texture of Spock's lips against his own, but then Spock pressed in harder and deepened the kiss. Coherent thought deserted him. His mind was a swirl of heat and madness.

When he finally managed to break away, he was panting for breath. Spock looked almost as composed as always, except his pupils were blown and his lips were flushed green.

"I want you," Spock said. His voice sounded hoarse, and he grabbed Kirk by the shoulders, backing him into the wall and pressing his body into him. Kirk could feel the cold temple wall at his back and the heat and hardness of Spock's erection pressing into his thigh. "I want--"

Kirk cut him off with a hard kiss, and then pulled back and said:

"Fuck, Spock. Let's stop a war, then."

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive me for any scientific/canon errors. I was (and still am) new to the Star Trek fandom.
> 
> This was written in response to the prompt here: http://st-xi-kink.livejournal.com/2494.html?thread=5619390#t5619390


End file.
